THE ART OF RELATIONSHIP
someone who doesn’t want to could cause a rift in the developing relationship. We must remember we are becoming vulnerable to them learning the negative things in us as well, and they too get to decide what they want to accept or not. This works both ways.
6. Know why someone is the way they are
At this level, you start (and continue to learn) about why this person does life the way they do it. Why do they respond in specific ways to specific events or circumstances? Why is it they may react positively or negatively to the same situation that someone else may generally react the opposite? Why do they think the way they do?
This level is where you have the realization they are what and who they say they are; a level of trust has been established, and you enjoy them. It may be common for you both to finish each other’s sentences, or for you to be able to speak on behalf of that friend because you know how they may respond. If you do, do so with great care. A mistake here could set back your relationship or even stall it.
You have reached a level of familiarity and comfort with one another as you have had more experiences and time together. You are getting to understand why they do the things they do and you are good with it. It’s more than likely you have already started calling them “friend.”
7. Someone you can call “friend”
Here is where there is a revelation of the nature of your relationship and the feeling that as long as you both maintain healthy communication and boundar- ies, you could be friends for a very long time.
We will dig into friendship in the next chapter, but a friend is someone who accepts you just as you are but is not afraid to call you on your issues. There is a trust that has grown to the point where you can share personal and confidential information and believe it will stop there. You can also rest assured they will not judge you for your actions, but share their opinion in love to give you a healthy, balanced view of you. Mutual accountability is very much a part of this level.
We throw the word “friend” around way too often. Many refer to some relationships in their lives as friends when they are actually still at the acquain- tance level. “Friend” is a term that should only be used when it is mutually understood that this is the nature of the relationship. There is nothing worse than when you view someone as your “friend” and all this it implies, but they